Being Real

Ever since I can remember, I have been blessed/cursed with my , some people say, brutal honesty.  I try to go with the old adage, “If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all.”  Do you know how hard that is!!

The thing is that I do it without any malice.  I don’t say things to offend people.  Well, unless they are offending me.  I usually hope that what I am saying is helping them in one way or another.  It really is a show of love and respect.  In other words, “You should worry when I have nothing to say, it means that I really don’t care.”

People say I’m nosey and arrogant but, if that’s how you see me, oh well.  I do expect others to be that way with me as well.  but in truth, I, low key, sometimes get offended. THAT’S when I keep my mouth shut.  A defensive mechanism mastered from the start.

I have a special gift.  The gift of reading people well.  It works 95% of the time.  The remaining 5% is that of reading when women are interested in me.  I know how to flirt, I just don’t trust the woman’s intention.  Is it because she just wants to be funny or friendly?  Does she want to hook up or have a relationship?  Who knows?

That would explain why I am single.  And that’s fine.  It’s life.  The reason I say that is because I NEVER “Rapped” to a woman.  NEVER. We always started out as friends, then, when appropriate, it turned intimate.  BY the way, No problems there.

I’m thinking, I would rather a woman be honest with me and let me know, so that I don’t have to get anxious about how they feel.  At 54, how much time do I really have to decipher a woman.  Which, in itself, is impossible to begin with.

I often find that there are women that I can see myself with.  But, one day we have awesome conversations, then I don’t hear from them for months.  What’s the purpose of that?  It is really frustrating but I know, one day, I will be able to find someone to finish out my life with.

If not, it is meant to be.  As of right now, I’m good.  I’m real and…..

That is all.

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